Personal Reflection Paper 220

Christina Otis

Personal Reflection Paper

            Adolescence is commonly known as a time of confusion and often pain. We are neither children nor adults. Our bodies go through significant changes, and our brains change along with our bodies. With those changes in our physical makeup come mental, emotional, and sometimes spiritual changes. Adolescents have to work through a new, bigger, sometimes physically awkward body, as well as all of the hormones and intensity that come with puberty. All of those changes contribute to a changing identity and a sense of self that goes through a turnaround too. Many adolescents have to learn about themselves anew as they work through the challenges of a new mentality and new body.           

            Erik Erikson’s stages of development talk about the conflicts which we have in each stage. His conflict for adolescence is identity vs. identity confusion.  According to his theory, adolescents are concerned with how they appear to others, in addition to searching for meaning in life and the niche into which they fit.  He believed that adolescents go through a period of transition and confusion as they search for their identities.

Erikson’s theory of conflict is my favorite among developmental theories because his stages are broad, and he never posits that every person goes through every stage at a specific time. He does say that in order to have a full life, you have to successfully maneuver each conflict and come out of it stronger, having achieved the better part. He also never gives a time frame for how long each conflict should take, just that it usually happens within a period of years of age.

            I agree with this very much. I have always had a strong sense of identity, but even with that I went through a very small period of identity confusion. It lasted for at most a day. Somebody said something that made me think about the person that I was and how I saw myself, how others saw me, how God saw me, and most importantly, the person that I wanted to be. I wrote things down, and what started very negatively became a positive and uplifting experience. I came out of that day stronger and better and with a higher resolve to be the best person I could. That was a very isolated instance which illustrates Erikson’s theory almost perfectly. I had an inner conflict between the person I saw myself as and the person that I discovered other people saw me as. I had to make a decision between those two people, and find out which was the true person I am. As I wrote, I came to realize that though I have those negative traits, no set of traits on their own defines a person. The whole of who I am defines me, and there are far more attributes that are desirable and good which I can aspire to and gain than negative attributes that I have. This is when my identity became fully formed, and after I knew my identity, I could move on to my relationships, which is Erikson’s next stage.

            Early adulthood is the stage I am currently in, and Erikson’s conflict for this stage is Intimacy vs. Isolation. The focus is building relationships. If you do not gain close relationships, or intimacy, you are isolated from others. Isolation is generally a maladaptive behavior, because humans are social animals.

            One stage that I have yet to go through is Middle adulthood. That stage goes between ages 25 and 64, the time during which many people have careers. Erikson’s conflict in this period is generativity vs. stagnation, or the question of whether one will be able to produce something of real value, something which will benefit society. I agree with the theory in its statement that during this time of our lives, we are seeking to make a difference in society. He says that we use our families to teach culture, and we want to have successful children. I also agree with that statement. However, I totally disagree that having a family is not in itself fulfilling. If having a fulfilling life Has to mean “contributing” to society through the workforce, I don’t want to live that life.

 I have always been excited about having a life full of children and family. That has started for me already, but I am still in some sort of a transitional phase between early and middle adulthood, as my husband and I are both still in college. I am not really afraid of anything to come, because I have always adapted well to the situations that I face. I am apprehensive that I might have to use my skills in the workforce and leave my family, in order for my husband and I to make enough money to be comfortable and sustain a happy lifestyle with a big family.

The best things I can do now to prepare for that portion of life are to finish my education so that I have a chance of working, as well as so that I can help teach my children better. I can also make sure that I have savings, food storage, and skills that will help sustain my family such as gardening, canning, sewing, cooking, and others. I can look forward to any possible circumstances and have a plan for each of them in which I can be happy and can ensure my family’s happiness. That way, I have the option of contributing to society through a career if I have to, and the better option of contributing to society through raising children who are independent, motivated, skilled, and eager to learn and work.